Sunday, April 18, 2010

There is Always Hope and Ghosts?

Today's post may be a little sad or sensitive for some. I warn you now in case you just want to skip down to the NOTD photo. 


We moved here in August of 2008. My oldest daughter was entering 7th grade. She was going from a school where there were only 8 kids in her 6th grade class, all of which who were girls to a school that co-mingled the middle school children with the high school children. and there were more 7th graders than there were students in the entire school that she previously attended. I was scared to let her go - she couldn't wait to spread her wings. On that first day of school a young girl took her under her wings and introduced her to her friends and showed her the ropes. Over her 7th grade year as my daughter got to know this girl, she would sometimes come home completely frustrated by her. This nice sweet girl had another side. She was a cutter. She talked about suicide, my daughter was concerned. At my insistence, she went to a counselor at school and she tried talking to her friend. Shortly there after her friend left school. No one heard from her except for through occasional phone calls and Facebook. 


This young girl was coming back to school for the 8th grade year. Mh daughter and her friends were excited she was back. She never showed up on that first day of school though. Rumors started swirling around school that she had committed suicide. My daughter came home and told me about the rumor and she was concerned. Her mother wouldn't answer the phone so there were no answers until my daughter checked her Facebook. In the middle of the night her friend posted her suicide note on Facebook and then hung herself. This was so hard to watch my daughter go through. Her and her friends had to deal with the ugly side of life at such a young age. 




Come to find out this young girl was suffering from depression, the mother had tried to get her help and they were positive that she was getting better. Only unfortunately she wasn't. Why am I writing about this nearly 8 months after it happened? Well today would have been that young girls birthday. My daughter and her friends have gotten together and decided that they are going to go to the park where their friends memorial was held and share their memories about their friend and release some balloons for her birthday. It is going to be a long tough day and all these emotions will be brought back to the surface for my daughter and her friends. 


I know this is a long and sad post, and I went back and forth on sharing this, but I feel it is important. Today's youth have so many things to worry about and the threat of suicide is very real. If you or someone you know is depressed or thinking or talking about suicide, there is hope. There is always hope. You can get help.  Visit the Suicide Prevention Lifeline for more information and where you can go for help.

Switching gears a little bit. At about 1:30 this morning my daughter and her friend were writing a poem that they plan on reading today at her friends birthday memorial. After they were done they decided they would watch TV until they fell asleep. At about 2:30 this morning one of the glass decorations on my table exploded! Is her friend here in spirit or is this just coincidence? 


The young girl's favorite color was green, so today's manicure is for her. This is ULTA Salon Formula in Into the Limelight. This is a very vivid metallic lime green. I couldn't quite capture the vividness of this nail. It is this color just more vivid if that makes sense. While I can rarely pull off colors like this one - I really like this one. I think with the mix of gold undertones, I  may be able to wear this one.



8 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is important to watch what's going on with our kids and their friends.

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  2. I am glad you chose to share this.
    My best friend commited suicide on her 16th birthday, I was barely 15.
    The stress, pressure, fears and so on are so much more than many adults and parents realise.
    We parents need to truly know our kids or we are likely to miss signs that they need us.
    Hugs to you and your Daughter, I'm sure her friend is there feeling the love of her friends!

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  3. thank you for posting this. i was actually just thinking about it yesterday. i don't know if you or your daughter know about this, but there is an organization called To Write Love on Her Arms and it's main goal is to get help for those who suffer from depression, self-injure and self-medicate. it's a great cause and it was founded off one girl named Renee who was saved.
    suicide, depression and self-injury are things that are all very close to me and the way some people talk about it makes me sad. people who commit suicide are just looking for an end to their pain. they're not trying to be selfish, and i don't think it's easy for people to understand that unless they've really been effected by it. even then, i think it's still a difficult concept to grasp. i know people always joke about telling people to jump off a cliff or to just kill themselves, but to me it's not a joke. sometimes i try to stop them from saying it, but other times i'm too afraid to so i sit there in silence.
    i'm not really sure where i'm going with this comment, but your daughter may be interested in twloha. you can learn more about it at www.twloha.com
    there's also an unofficial TWLOHA day that's coming up and maybe your daughter or her friends are interested in doing it.
    here's more information about how to participate (it's free, and very simple) and a little more on what To Write Love on Her Arms is. http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=115978155083886
    it's a great organization and you might want to check it out.
    i hope i didn't bore you too much with my ramblings, but thank you for reading. :]

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  4. Thank you for this post. Raising awareness is the first step, and than, as EA said, parents need to KNOW their children. Talk to them, ask about how their friends are doing, sometimes it's not your kid but someone else's.
    When my son was in middle school, his best girl friend was cutting herself. He was worried and confided his fear to me. My first thought was to run over and tell the mom, but instead, I told him to tell her that she had ONE hour to tell her mom what she was doing or he was going to go over there and tell her himself. One hour later he went over and was thanked by her mother for helping the daughter. She still battles depression, but she's made it to 21 and has a lovely boyfriend who continues to make her happier and more glow-y every day.
    Parents need to talk to their kids.

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  5. THANK YOU! I am so sorry your daughter had to experience that at a young age and really sorry about her friend. And I believe her friend was there to say "Thanks!" GREAT POST!

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  6. Thank you for the encouraging comments everyone! I appreciate it. It is such an important topic - but still somewhat taboo. Bonnie - thank you for the information on TWLOHA. My daughter has heard of this before, but this prompted us to review the site today. We are going to join in on April 21st by writing Love on her arm to support the cause!

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  7. Thank you for this. Tuesday is the funeral of one of my sister's closest friends. He killed himself two weeks ago.

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  8. Wow - thank you for sharing and raising awareness. I guess I'm fairly ignorant and didn't realise that this affects the very young. How tragic, such a young age.... It has opened my eyes. God bless.

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