Thursday, August 25, 2011

It's Time I Got Real

Sorry I missed posting yesterday. It has been a bit on the busy side. I really have nothing for you today either, so I figure I will repost pictures of  the Hypnotic Collection in between my post. In the meantime let me entertain you with a little story. I recently joined the gym, because I am to the point where my body is what is referred to as being skinny/fat. Have you ever heard that term before? What that means is that externally I look skinny. I used to be wicked skinny, now I see myself as more of a normal than a skinny, but many people still think I am skinny. I am 5'3" and weigh somewhere between 117 - 127 lbs on any given day. I don't weigh myself often, but when I do I am somewhere in that vacinity. As long as my close fits, that is all I care about. I have a lot of clothes and I don't want to have to buy all new clothes because it no longer fits. But I digress, back to being skinny/fat.
In a Trance

So externally I am skinny, but my muscles are gone. Well they are still there, but they have a lot of fat around them. They are just there doing nothing. I get winded going up the stairs. A gallon of milk is heavy. Hence the term skinny/fat. It has nothing to do with eternally looking a certain way, it has to do with the amount of fat in my skinny body. Make sense?

Hypnotize Me over In a Trance
 As a result, I knew I had to start working out. I did good for a little while last year. I started doing yoga and walking. But as busy as I am with Cult Nails, there is always a reason not to get off my duff. I made them all to myself. "It was a long day at work", "I have to get a blog post written", "There's a ladies meetup", "I need to spend more time with the kids"....aaah the kids, my biggest excuse.I feel guilty for working all day, then I feel guilty for working on Cult Nails, so I feel the biggest guilt leaving them to go work out. I wish I could do Cult Nails full time and be home with my kids more. One day... Although they are growing fast and I worry it might be too late.
Awakening
 Again, you can tell my mind is all over the place right now, can't you? Let's get to it then, shall we? Once upon a time I was extremely fit. I looked good. Damn good if I do say so myself, then we moved to a place I didn't like, and I got depressed, and working out just wasn't fun anymore. Then we moved again and everything fell into place. I love where I live, I love the people around me, I love my Cult Nails job, but my body? Not so much.
Hypnotize Me over Awakening
I live a half mile from the beach, everyone walks around in bikini's for crying out loud. Me? No thanks! Perhaps I could, but there are too many factors that don't allow it. If you must know I was a sad 94 lbs when I got pregnant the first time and ballooned to about 175 lbs by the end of that pregnancy! I almost doubled my weight!!! So as you can imagine, from my breasts, to my belly to my round behind and thighs, I am a road map! Stretch marks is nothing compared to what I have. Is that a little TMI? I share this, because I get a lot of emails from people who say my life seems perfect and I am beautiful and blah blah. Let me just tell you all, life is as perfect as you make it. If you saw me with out makeup or the perfect pose, or when I am cranky, I think you would have a whole other perspective. Just ask Juan, he has to live with me! We all have our faults and flaws and I have plenty. So if I make my life seem perfect on here, I apologize, things are about to get real!

Enigmatic in the sun
So there is no bikini in my future no matter how hard I work at it. To be honest, even a tummy tuck wouldn't help. Well it would help that flabby skin that won't tighten no matter what I do, but as far as stetchmarks go, probably not. But regardless of whether I can get in a bikini or not, I want my toned and muscled and strong body back! Why can't I get back to where I was? Why have I lost all my committment and energy to my health and body?

Enigmatic in the shade
I don't know why, but laying on the couch watching TV for an hour at night just seems so much more fun than moving my body! I had to take matters into my own hands. I joined a gym. I figure if I am paying for it then I will force myself to go, right? Well I joined on August 9th as a birthday gift to me. Since then I have been to the gym 5 times. 5 times in 16 days! I feel like I am throwing my money away!
Hypnotize Me over Enigmatic
 I refuse to give up though. I am going to keep working at it, I am going to push myself. I am going to make this work! So last night my friend asked me to go to the AquaFit class with her. I thought, isn't that the water aerobics class full of old ladies? But I went. Can I just say O-M-G!!! That class was intense! I had no idea? How did water aerobics not catch on? We used the water as resistance and water weights for added resistance. The instructor led us on an intense aerobic excercise for 45 minutes! I was in the water sweating! Here's the thing, I realized you can take the easy way in the water and do the excerises half assed, or you can be serious and get a killer work out. I stayed pretty intense the whole time and when I walked out of that water, my entire body felt like jelly! After all that water resistance, it was weird getting out of the water for a few seconds.
Hypnotize Me by itself - 3 coats

But I loved it, so you will now see me doing AquaFit once a week with the "old ladies". I highly recommend it. Let's bring it back and make it as cool as Zumba! Actually they are having a Water Zumba class tomorrow, but unfortunately it's in the middle of my work day, so I can't go. Boo! But Let's see if this helps me get it together. I actually packed a bag to bring with me to work, so I can get a work out in during lunch since we have plans tonight. Could this be the change? I sure hope so! I will get my butt back in gear! 

11 comments:

  1. Hey Maria. I really enjoy these types of posts... It is nice when a blogger "gets real". From what I have gotten to know of you, you are beautiful inside and out... But as a mommy of three I can totally relate to the post-baby body change... Its nice to know that it's not all Hollywood-model perfect for everyone.
    I'm drooling over your swatches... I can't wait for mine to arrive!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Soo pretty. I like Hypnotize Me.

    I totally know how you feel. I'm shorter than you and I feel like I'm completely winded even though I'm not big at all, I feel that way mentally.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's so true that when you move to a place you don't like, you gain weight. I gained twenty-five pounds in Pennsylvania! I am SO HAPPY to be back in Iowa, where there are SIDEWALKS - I hated walking in my old neighborhood because you had to walk on the road! I am glad to hear you are doing well, I really miss talking to you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG I DIE for these colors! I had no idea you could put Hypnotize Me over the other colors!! They looked amazing! I can't wait to get them :) XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can so relate to your "road map" body reference...kids totally change you! I have a bunch of them (4 little boys) so the damage is extensive ;) I would not even mind staying overweight VS fixing my skin- I would take back my smooth skin from my pre-baby body and stay chunky if I had to pick one. Oh well, what can you do? I keep saying to my husband, "how can I make myself one of those people who handle stress by going to the gym obsessively?". I wish I could harness that energy and put it towards something positive! :) Side note: I love the pics of the new collection. Can't wait to order and try some soon! <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am major loving this new fall group from Cult Nails! Trance is got me in a trance.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Marta - thanks for the comment - no Hollywood perfection here! Ha! Although it would be nice if one day I woke up with a perfect body! LOL!

    @Krissy - It's not a good feeling - you should join me in getting healthier!

    @Jbrobs! - I miss you too! You really should have moved to FL instead of Iowa! I'll keep pushing for that - you'll give in one day!

    @Polishvixen - I love layering, so yup, this is a favorite! You'll love it!

    @Maribeth - Hmm if I had to chose one, I would choose smooth skin and more weight too! You can be heavier and be gorgeous and shapely, but the roadmaps. Yuck! I hate them! I don't see them as a badge of motherhood. There are plenty of moms who don't get them. But I still look good with clothes on, so I guess it's a good thing for everyone that I don't walk around nekkid! LOL!

    @beachgal - Thank you! I think that is going to be my next mani!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hypnotize Me over other nailpolishes is sooo beautiful! Thanks for showing!

    I follow your blog now for a pretty long time and maybe you followed mine on Melaniesnailpolish (The Color Palette), but I moved to a new blog that fits my ideas. Maybe you would like to take a look at www.thecolorpaletteblog.blogspot.com
    Maybe I see you there :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good for you! I feel the same way about my body being skinny-fat. And I feel the same way about motivating myself to exercise. It's always tough for me, because I never want to. I started back up a bit before the school/teaching year began. Now I am back working and moving out of my apt, so no workouts here. But good luck to you and me as we try to get back into it and get skinny-healthy!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Love this post, thank you for "getting real", you're a wonderful person Maria :-) Being a mother of two I can understand a lot of things, from a body that won't be the same anymore to "I have to stay with the kids" excuse to avoid doing something :-)
    I so love Enigmatic BTW!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Amy - We can do it! You have a tough job as a teacher, I bet you come home tired, but just think the moving at least is a workout in itself! But we can do this!

    Maisenzasmaito - glad to know I am not the only one who uses my kids as an excuse. At least it's a legitimate one! I did pretty good this week, I went to the gym twice by myself and then brought my youngest once and we worked out in the pool. She was like my little fitness instructor! We had a blast and worked out at the same time. The older two were too cool to join us though. They grow so fast!

    ReplyDelete