What a year it has been! Next month, we celebrate the one year anniversary of our launch date! Can you believe it? I had a collection planned for Jan 2012 and it was the collection I was waiting on. It is very different than my previous collections, this collection is a collection of nudes with a twist. We will still have this collection, but with a delay, it won't be ready for Jan as originally planned. It isn't like the planning happened over night, we have been planning this for at least the last six months. So it's a bit dissappointing to see this delay when I have been so looking forward to our one year anniversary. But we will see it none the less.
Here's the deal, I try to be as open and honest about running a business without boring you all with the details. I try to keep things mostly positive, with some careful frustrations being vented here. But the truth is a business doesn't just happen. Starting a business takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears. It takes hours of hard work, and more sacrifice than you thought you were capable of giving. I can't even begin to tell you how hard, yet satisisfying this year has been. It has been exciting yet exhausting, exhilerating yet stressful, joyful but full of emotion. It has been so hard, we still have so much to learn. I feel like there just isn't enough time. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know I need to do more, devote more, but sometimes I feel like I just can't. I have a full time job that helps support my family and I'm just not ready to give that up. Cult Nails is not to the point where it can take over the support. But maybe with a little more sacrifice it can be? But I'm all about sacrifice, but is it fair to my kids? Is it fair to tell them that they can't do that after school sport or activity because I am sacrificing? Is it fair to put them at that disadvantage for college because I wanted to sacrifice to make a dream come true? For me, they are not worth the sacrifice, they always will come first. So I work 40 - 50 hours a week for my day job, and then I work 50+ hours a week for Cult Nails. John also puts in as many hours working for the military and then for Cult Nails. Sometimes I think John puts in more hours for Cult Nails than I do. Sometimes I know for a fact that that is true.
Last Friday after another lab delay, I lost it. And when I say I lost it, I mean I really lost it. I screamed and cried and screamed and cried some more. I laid on my bathroom floor crying for more than an hour and decided this is it, I quit. I can't be Cult Nails anymore. I have to choose, support my family working a day job and be there for them at night, or sacrifice and try to make this dream a reality. I quit! I quit! I quit! Of course, unfortunately the person on the receiving end of my screaming was John. I think it hurt him to see me so hurt, I could see it in his eyes. But he said no. He just looked me in the eyes and said "you are not quitting on your dreams!" What a jerk! At least at that moment, that is what I felt. Now with a few days behind me and some perspective, I realize it was just pent up stress that I was feeling. I'm not a crier, so for me that is huge. I'm not a quitter, so to feel so defeated is scarey. I mean honestly, it's just a small delay right? right? That's what I keep telling myself.
Anyway, so thanks to John, I don't quit. But the emotions are still raw. But I am still standing and more determined to grow this cult in 2012. I have the best Culties in the world! I have never imagined the amount of support and encouragement I would receive from you guys! You guys are helping make a dream come true and pushing me along the way! I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am to all of you. So really thanks to John and you guys, I don't quit.
The reason I share all this, which to me is extremely personal, is this: 2012 is a New Year. It is a new beginning. My struggles are nothing compared with the struggles others are facing. But there is always hope. So let's make 2012 the year of dreams. Let's all work towards making our dreams come true! Let's push each other forward to make them happen. Nothing in life worth having is worth having without hard work. So we will work harder and hopefully smarter. We will make it the best year yet. Thanks for sticking with me through the downs of 2011 and the many many ups! Next year I want to see Cult Nails in magazines, I want to see Cult Nails in stores, but mostly, I want to see Cult Nails on you! Let 2012 be the best year yet! We got this!