Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The State of My Hair

I have been debating on posting about my hair. But it is inevitable, I am posting. So by now you know that I chopped all my hair off. I loved the cut. It was ALMOST everything I wanted. We went a little longer than I wanted just in case I hated it, with the option to come back and go just a little shorter. The stylist did an amazing job, I had seen photos of other similar haircuts she had done, so I was comfortable going in. I hadn't cut my hair short sooner only because I needed to find a decent stylist. How lucky did I get that this stylist posts her work on Facebook!

Well after doing my hair everyday, it became apparent that I could wear my hair down in my face, but not up because it was just a smidge too long. As well when I wore it in my face, it kept poking me in the eyeballs. At the salon I thought I would be able to just push them back, but it was just the right length to keep poking me in the eyes no matter what I did. Then just to keep the fun factor up I started getting crazy amounts of acne on my forward from my hair being down all the time. I started to pin it back, but wasn't digging that look since it felt like I was just growing out a short cut. Which OK I guess eventually I would get there anyway, but I wanted to be able to do a little faux hawk up and have it look done or wear it down when I wanted too. Then the little tail in the back kept bugging me. I felt like I was growing a mullet. It just seemed like two very minor adjustments. Trim the front and back, leave the rest alone.


You can see the back here. I just wanted it trimmed up a bit and the front hanging down. I just wanted that a tiny bit shorter! Not even an inch shorter!


So I went back and showed her pictures of exactly what I wanted to be able to do. This would require just cutting the tail off the back and shaping it and trimming the front to graze just below my eyebrows. No other big changes at all. I told her I wanted to be able to put it up or down. Even more she kept looking at the picture while cutting my hair to make sure it was right. What I ended up with is hacked up hair! Below are the pics I brought her. These are of WhippyCake on Etsy. See how the back is just a bit shorter? See how it can be worn up or down?


The front isn't really shorter on her, but I asked for mine just a tiny bit shorter so it wouldn't keep poking me in the eyes. 

I can't even begin to understand what she did. It is purely hacked. I can't wear it down because it isn't even and doesn't even come to my eyebrows. Not even close. Then she cut the sides too, which she was in front of me cutting so I couldn't really see in the mirror what she was doing, so I thought she was maybe just trimming it up. When I did see what she was doing, I told her that it didn't look like the cut I wanted, that is looked too short and that it wasn't going to let me do what I wanted. She insisted it would, that the only reason it looked like that was because she had already put product in my hair. I could tell that this was not the case, but what good would arguing do? It wouldn't make my hair grow back right then and there. I thought OK maybe it's not as bad as I think. Maybe once I get home and play with it, it will look better. Sadly that is not the case. Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. I feel the anger boiling at the service. I blame her for not doing what I asked. I blame myself for not paying more attention. I just get angry. I have been cranky since getting it cut. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, that is how upset I am.
This is right after I came home! OMG! I want to cry! I just am so sad when I see this! it looks like I have a square fuzz ball on my head.

The best that I could come up with for doing my hair right now. From the side it's doesn't look as bad as from the front. I hate it from the front!!
Don't I look happy?



I keep telling myself it's just hair. It's just hair. But really we all know that's not true. how many of you would go and chop your hair off? Shave your head? No? Then it isn't just hair. If I hear one more person tell me that, I might just grab the scissors and show them it's just hair myself! I know people are trying to be nice, but look, I'm upset. Nothing they say will make it grow back! Is that supposed to make me feel better? Or they say It doesn't look bad, it's cute! That isn't the point, the point it I hate it. Now I say that, but let me take a moment to add to my irrationality. I have had my hair this short before On purpose at that. I loved the cut when I had it. It's exactly what I wanted. That was over 14 years ago. Today, right now, it is not what I want. I don't look the same way I did 14 years ago. I am not the same person anymore. I don't want that cut anymore! So basically I feel like I am just being a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum over something so insignificant when there are so many more things going on in this world, heck in my own world that this shouldn't really matter! Yet it does.  It's so friggin' stupid! I need to get myself in check!

Or maybe I need to see if I can get extensions on this short hair! This is EXACTLY why I grew out my short hair in the first place - because so many stylists can not do short hair! When it's long and they mess it up, it can be hidden, but when it's short? There's nothing you can do! So I plaster a smile on my face along with a lot more makeup than usual and big earrings and pretend I like what I see. Fun huh? This will go on for I'm guessing the next 3 months. My hair grows at a decent pace, so I am hoping it is just 3 months.

In the meantime, I thought of not posting any pictures of myself. Not allowing anyone to take any photos. But then I thought this is so ridiculous of me! I decided I am going to keep posting away. Maybe somewhere along the way, my confidence will return. You can join me through the growing out stage to get it back to where it was. This should be fun right? Well my point is, there is no point in my being angry. There is nothing I can do. I know saying it is not going to stop how I feel, but I am going to force myself to deal with this positively. I hate negativity and I am finding myself in the negative hole. So now you can have the fun of following me along in my journey of taking this bad cut to something cute. Or at least cute enough! But I thought I would share, since I share just about everything else. Why not share the bad along with the good right? I thought writing this out would make me feel better too. So far it's not working. So far just seeing the pics makes me sad again. All this for hair. Wow do I feel vain! But seriously I wonder if I can get extensions with my hair being this short? hmmmm....

44 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's terrible for the hairdresser to ignore your requests the way that she did.

    I don't know if will make you feel better or not, but I think your hair still looks nice in the new pictures even though it is not what you wanted.

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  2. it makes me so sad that you feel so horrible about your hair, i actually think the shorter looks better than when you had it a bit tad longer. Like you said its HAIR it will grow back, and plus with your amazing body,no one is looking at your hair ;) so cheer up Maria , it could be a lot worst.

    Xoxo
    Maria

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  3. I know exactly how you feel, I refuse pretty much to go to hairdressers nowadays and that is why I keep my hair longish so I can cut and colour myself. I always fancy going short but I have a long face shape that hairdressers seem not to be able to cope with. :-(

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  4. i feel your pain...i only trust 2 people in the world to cut my hair...one lives in Puerto Rico and one lives here in Orlando where i live...i am very picky when it comes to how i like my hair to be...if you are not happy with it then you have every right to complaint..you are the one that has to live with it...no one else...

    But, for what is worth...you look fierce either way :)

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  5. i hate it when you trust a stylist, and then they just screw you over. i have stylist trust issues. :P good luck on finding a new one!

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  6. I can completely empathize. I never really understood how much bearing the state of my hair had on my overall self-esteem until something bad happened to it.

    A couple years back, I came down with a REALLY bad case of mono that started attacking my liver in addition to the normal symptoms. My hair weakened, and then started falling out in an alarming quantity. I was devastated. I cried every time I had to wash or brush my hair and watch that loose hair accumulate - the kind of sobbing that is normally reserved for deaths and funerals. I eventually got healthy and my hair grew back, but yeah. When you don't like the way your hair looks, you feel horrible.

    Hair takes its time coming back, but it will get easier to bear. I found cute hats to cover my sorry hair situation, and gradually adjusted and realized that not everyone was staring at me for my not-so-pretty hair situation whenever I stepped outside. It will get better!

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  7. Yeah, it's hard to find a stylish whose good with short hair. I found one a few years ago, but I keep wondering things like, "What if she moves? What if I move? What if she decides she doesn't want to cut hair anymore?!!!?!?!"

    You should start rocking hats and scarves! Hide the bad cut while it grows out AND have fun with accessories.

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  8. My deepest sympathies :-( I once came out of the hairdresser (one I had previously trusted!) with a mullet... So traumatized I hacked it off myself and then didn't get my hair cut again for 5 years! The ray of hope here is that it is very short: any growth increases the look of the length much more dramatically, so you may well have more options in a shorter time than you imagine.
    Chin up! Focus on your great figure, lovely face, awesome nails and fantastic wardrobe ;-)

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  9. I completely and TOTALLY sympathize!!! I'm half-Japanese and part Italian so my hair is the strangest, most textured, thick mane I've ever seen. Almost nobody can cut my hair well consistently. I've had my share of awful hair cuts and I literally find any means to hid it possible until I can fix it. I hope it grows quickly and you're able to find someone to do what you want with it! There is nothing more miserable than having something so personal as your hair destroyed :(

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  10. One time I went and got a haircut for a Christmas party. I lived in Honolulu at the time and there werent too many stylists for my type of hair. She butchered me. I cried on the way home. I cried as I sat on the couch. I cried as I went to the bathroom with clippers, scissors and a mirror to try and fix it. Never again. I feel your pain but you look sexy with this haircut to me. You wear it well.

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  11. I am so sorry you are unhappy with your hair. There is nothing worse, it's not just hair. It is the one thing you cant cover up! It's so hard to find a good hairdresser you can trust!!

    But like the other girls said, with your body I seriously doubt anyone will be too distracted by your hair!! I'm glad it grows fast!!!

    <3 Kelly

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  12. It's never ok or a good thing to be stuck with a haircut you don't want. You're upset and you should be. You hate your haircut and it's ok to express that dissatisfaction. You're the face of your brand(cult) and this is not stupid and you are not being silly or spoiled. That's just my opinion.

    I think you can do extensions when it's this short but don't quote me on that.

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  13. For years I was so picky about my hair, which is dark brown ans super straight. During the 80s & 90s I got perms just so my hair would something, which was eventually big hair & skyscraper bangs. :shudder: My hairdresser had been doing my hair since I was 2 years old and I drove him crazy with how picky I was about styling my hair to the point that he cut & permed it and I styled it before I left the salon. Eventually I moved & he moved & I had to go to other salons, so I started to be less uptight about my hair.

    A couple of years ago, I went super short & it's the best thing I ever did, but it took years for me to be all, "it's just hair, it'll grow back," not to mention able to really tell the stylist what I want & if I don't like something, but I'm so glad I feel that way now. Of all the things I can't change easily about my body, my hair is not one of them, so I just refuse to be so uptight about it anymore. Heck, I'm planning to dye my hair this Summer some crazy color for the first time ever in my life, because I want to do it before I turn 40 next Winter and I'm ok with having to tweak it if it turns out wrong the first time. Maybe this can be a learning experience for you too. You could try going shorter with a different style for the hot Summer months (which I really think you could pull off) or just wait & see of the cut you hate so much now grows out & turns onto one you love. Whatever you decide, don't let your hair ruin your mood.

    PS: I actually would shave all my hair off during the Summer, but I know my head is not shaped nicely enough, so I couldn't pull it off. Too many blows to the head a tom boy growing up. ;-)

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  14. Pretty much the same thing happened to me about 5 years ago. Well, actually I had long hair, nearly to my elbows and I just wanted it to have a cool haircut again and not just look like dull grown hair... Yep, silly me! I went to my sister's hairdresser and she just made it look so awful that the only thing I could do was chop it off. =( To make it up for my feeling miserable just as I started to attend college, I tried to wear cute earrings, hairpins and such. It seems vain indeed, but it's how you feel, so you can't just ignore it. Trying to look at it with a positive attitude helps and then, time will bring happier days.
    Oh, I've seen on tv that you can actually get hair extensions even with very short hair - in some tv show like "10 years younger" or such. I think it would look great if they aren't too long. =)
    Best of luck and don't let yourself get too down, it will get better!

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  15. I think you should be tankkfull you do have hair. I am going bald at 29 years old, and no matter what I do, one can always see the skin on my head. So in my vision it is better to have a bad hair cut, than to not be able to grow hair. So think of it this way, I envy you for having a good head of hair.

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    1. :( I feel like that too as my hair falls out so easily and is so fine you can see my scalp and because I have scalp psoriasis so hair follicles get pulled out with skin growth so I feel like I am going bald too. I'd like to get pregnant just to have a healthy growth of hair, if only I didn't want kids lol.

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    2. If you get pregnant, after you give birth you loose a lot of hair. And in cases like mine, where I already have trouble, I could loose the hair and never grow it back.

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  16. aww, don't be sad!! You look uber FIERCE!!
    Plus short hair grow faster, you'll grow into the look you want in no time!! <3

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  17. Im So sorry this has happened to you - it isn't just hair its part of what makes us "us" i had a similar thing happen when i was a teenager - i had really long hair that got burnt and i had to have it all cut off - even my best friend didn't recognise me and we had been friends for 10+ years!
    Even now nearly 20 years later i find hairdresser visits as bad as the dentist and you can bet your ass i grew my hair back ASAP and to this day i keep it long.
    All the very best and hope you find a way to make it work for you :)

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  18. OMG Maria, I get so sad looking at your pics because I can absolutely sense how you are feeling! I feel so heartbroken for you! I know cutting your hair was not an easy decision, and to not have control over the outcome like that just plain sucks. I told you in your post before you cut it, mine was super short and once I moved away from my best friend/hair dresser, I just could not bring myself to find someone else to cut it (I haven't even had a trim now in over a year- it's terrible). I was able to (almost literally) grab my friend and say, "do you get what I mean????" after explaining/showing her what I wanted, and she would reiterate to me 4 or 5 times what she was doing. I think if I did that with any other stylist, they'd get so annoyed that they'd do a crappy job on purpose just to be sure I didn't come back :)
    You don't want to hear it looks "good" or "cute" (which....ummm...I do think, but I'm *not* gonna say it ;-) because it's not what you asked for! You are not vain at all, and it's not "just hair"- it's YOU. You are totally in the right to feel the way you do. <3

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  19. Firstly, along the lines of what some of the others have said, you are absolutely beautiful and have swag to spare, so rock growing that hair out until you are happy with it. However, I know it's hard to be unhappy with it and it affects you much more than you'd expect. I had bangs for the first time a few years back, which I loved, but I decide to cut my hair shorter and I hated it with the bangs so much I clearly remember spending an entire Saturday crying in bed. I also just got my hair done this Saturday and I'm not exactly sure what was up with my stylist, but he highlighted the SH*T! out of it, like, way lighter than usual and in big chunks. To be honest, I keep telling myself, ah, whatever, but it is still bugging me! So I get it, girl, and it seems like many others do, as well.
    I would really recommend against extensions. They are so damn expensive (you're looking at $500-$1000 at least) and require so much maintenance (you have to go in to get them tightened up based on your preference, but I think it's roughly each month or so). I've never had a full head, but I had some colored streaks for Halloween once and they were annoying...you can't comb or brush your hair to hard or they'll yank out, they shed just like real hair does, and those little cylinders can be uncomfortable in the beginning. Plus, I just think they look fake. I can always tell if someone has them.
    Anyway, that's just my opinion! You do what you need to do to feel comfortable with yourself! Don't feel bad about feeling bad...it is beyond disappointing that the stylist let you down so much. Hang in there, girl, you'll get through it!

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  20. It's hard to know you got a bad hair cut, but it IS temporary. I've had a lot of bad hair cuts and while I feel your pain and sympathize, I also have gotten to the point where I can laugh and agree with those who point out that "it's just hair." I hope you get the cut you want soon and that this nightmare is behind you before you know it.

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  21. Ugh I know how it is to be utterly miserable with how your hair looks. I would invest in some Biosil if you don't already take it - it's a supplement that helps hair and nails grow (it also claims to help with fine lines and wrinkles too, can't hurt!). I've taken it when I wanted my hair to grow and while the results are not super drastic, I do think it helps!

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  22. I'm sure youve heard this many times already, but honestly, I think ur hair looks badass. I give you props for having the balls to even chop off your hair like that and honestly, you have the look and style to pull it off and make us girls think twice about cutting our hair (I know Ive thought about it!). I know no matter what anyone says your gnna hate your hair, but I guess the only thing you can do is tough it out and NEVER go back to that hair stylist! lol

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  23. I totally know how you feel, I've had the same kind of thing happen where I went in for a short cut and it was not at all what I'd asked for. It sucked. :/ I waited, it grew out, and eventually it got better. Honestly you're such a gorgeous lady that you look amazing no matter what, but I know sometimes it's more about how you feel than what you hear from others. Be patient and give it time, and in the meantime, my sympathies for not getting what you wanted (I swear though you really do look great!!).

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  24. Oh Maria, I'm so sorry!!! I know, I know. I had mine cut/colored a few weeks ago and I hate it. My old hairdresser left me (she moved away) and I found someone new but darn, the top of my hair is insanely cut. . . I have quite a mess going on up there. I'm older now and my hair makes me look it.

    You are so lovely dear, I know it doesn't help much but it will grow again. Please take care and know that there are tons of us that can sympathize with you.

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  25. I think you should turn that frown upside down and have fun with it. There's always something you can do with your hair to make it look more interesting - take it from someone who has hair thinner than a toddler. Not to mention MY hair takes a year to grow 2 inches. I follow you on twitter and instagram and my name is @bmwmchick - I've posted pictures of my new haircut as well. You should look around at more pictures online of how to style your hair in a way that you would like it. There's always a solution! And of course you have to know it's not it's never as bad as you think.

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  26. I am so sorry that the stylist didn't do what you want. It isn't just hair. I was getting chemo a few years ago, and when my hair started to thin, I was devastated. And I don't normally even give a damn about my hair--it's in a pony tail every day and I'm lucky if I comb it! Yes, be grateful that you have a good head of hair and it will grow back, but don't get down on yourself because you are so hurt and disappointed. Of course you will make it look awesome--you are a beautiful woman with tremendous personal style. But it still sucks that someone went along and did damage to your appearance when you trusted her!

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  27. i feel so awful for you. it sucks when you get a bad cut on longer hair, but at least a ponytail is usually an option. with this kind of an awful cut, what are you supposed to do in the meantime? wear a hat? you are still a lovely looking woman, and it looks like you are making the best of it, but i can tell that you don't feel good about yourself just based on the photos. i hope it grows back fast! i'd amp up the biotin and supplement intake, for sure! :o/

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  28. Maria, I totally agree with Melissa White.

    There is a difference between being/acting vain and taking care and pleasure in styling ones looks and outfits.
    You have NEVER struck me as vain!

    Maria you are a beautiful woman inside and out!
    With your busy schedule both as a mom, wife and businesswoman it helps to have have that is fun and fashionable BUT more importantly easy to manage so that time can be spent on other things. I have a feeling that this is part of what is adding to your dissatisfaction with your current look (the time to make it "like able").
    Thank you for being human and sharing the good with the bad ;)
    Xxx

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  29. Maria I can relate to that, back in 2007 someone f'ed my hair on the day of my bday. A bad had burnt my hair and i was only left with two inches of half burnt hair. I cried for a couple of months, and to my luck I found a stylist in Bayamon, PR which rocks my world! I cut on 2007 my hair five times, to get rid of the burnt hair. Still hated the short hair on me, traumatized cause of the perm. U are gorgeous, have a killer body, super fashion sense and make awesome nail polish!
    xxxx
    Jossie

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  30. :( It sucks so bad whenever you leave a salon and HATE what was just done...especially when you just paid for your new misery. I got my hair cut this past sunday and I'm feeling similar to what you are feeling...just not as extreme. My hair was about an inch or two below my shoulders and I asked for it to be cut right above my shoulders. I like to go a lil shorter when it gets warmer. Well...just above turned into a bob. I have a bob on my head. A choppy bob with blunt bangs...I feel like I have a lego helmet head. I try and put texture in it, but it just looks so not me at all. I saw my boyfriend's mom today and she said she liked it and then asked if I got it cut in china town. I was like...huuuuuh? what's that supposed to mean, I thought you liked it lol.
    Anyways, I was even looking up what vitamins I can take to grow my hair faster then realized that might just make me hairy all over lol. It is just hair because it will grow back...but at the same time...its not just hair. I will just have to be patient and look forward to it growing out a bit more. I've never had my hair this short before, I thought I liked it at first even though I was in a bit of a shock. I figured it would grow on me...but a few days later I don't like it because it is not who I am. So I will be along side you waiting for visible hair growth. You are not alone. Just don't forget that you're one hot lady under all that hair (or lack of :P).

    <3 Frosso

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  31. Get yourself some Biotin tablets at the drugstore or the grocery store! It really helps grow your hair.

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  32. Really sucks that she didn't pay attention and give you what you asked for! How frustrating! You're beautiful no matter what, but I know I'd be royally pissed if it had happened to me. Try ShenMin tablets from GNC or the Vitamin Shoppe. I swear by them!

    Karli

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  33. I'm sorry you didn't get what you want but seriously: that's SUPER CUTE!!!! I think it's really flattering on you... Maybe you can grow to accept it, even if you can't grow to love it?

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  34. I know that you hate it but I think it looks really nice.

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  35. You need about 2 inches of hair to do extensions with. When I had my right side cut VERY short, I just barely had enough hair to do extensions with on that side.

    I think your hair looked so good when I saw you at the Artisan Beauty event, but wow she did NOT make it look like your pictures. I wish you were closer to here, my stylist is awesome with short cuts.

    I know it's hard, but it will grow back. *hug*

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  36. I like the short hair :) My grandmother always taught me - fake it until it's real. If you think you look great, the confidence will show through and everyone will think you look great too.

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  37. I really like it short like this!

    You are still missing your old hair and are not used to styling it and working with short hair.. I hope it will grow on you like it did on me...

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  38. Awww, Maria! I'm sorry you hate the cut so much! :( I liked the first chop better, but you are rockin' the new shorter cut too! It still looks kinda longer in the bangs, maybe if you style it forward it will look a little longer in the front like you wanted? :)

    I'm in the same boat! I cut my hair five days ago and I got hacked too! My hair was to my waist and is now just below my ears. The stylist left me with an even choppy mess. I had her try to fix it too, but after many attempts I just gave up, smiled, and walked out...before I strangled her! I was going to end up bald before she got it right. I've realized I really like short hair ... on other people! I'm gonna stick to long and layered from now on.

    My hair grows pretty fast like yours, so we'll both be counting the months together :)

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  39. Every single time I go with short hair, I end up crying over it.

    Instead of extensions (super expensive, not versatile), go get a wig!

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  40. It is just hair, but at the same time, it isn't. I personally have just grabbed the scissors and cut all my hair off. Twice. But right now, I am frustrated with my current length of hair and would love to just have it be at my perfect ponytail length again. I'm taking Biotin to help my hair grow out faster (and my nails, even though I have to keep them short) so maybe you might want to look into taking some to speed past the awkward cut phase. Anyways, you look great, as always.

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  41. You look absolutely beautiful!!! Either way, you are a stunner! :D

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